Flix: 'Twilight' — Hooked on a Teen Sensation

I'M GOING TO COME RIGHT OUT WITH IT. I'm hooked on the Twighlight saga. I had every intention of ignoring its existence for two reasons: 1. I'm not a big fan of fantasy fiction, which includes anything having to do with vampires. And 2. I'm not a teenager. The last teen lit I read was the Babysitters' Club books and I was like, 11. But against my wishes — and better judgment — I picked up the first book in the series last month, and now I'm on the third book.

I blame HBO. And Anderson Le. (Are you listening, Anderson?) I blame HBO because it was True Blood that got me hooked on vampire lore, because who can resist Vampire Bill? And I blame Anderson for innocently bringing up Twilight in a recent conversation, which made me feel like a poser of a pop culture buff, because when he mentioned it, I had nothing to contribute to the conversation. Not being able to discuss a pop topic knowledgeably? Unacceptable! And so, armed with a new love for vampires and an inferiority complex, I bought the book. Of course, my inherent need to be part of any pop culture movement also helped make me the Twilight addict I am today.

So, all of that to say that I rush, rush, rushed to see Twilight  (which the L.A Times calls "a full-blown pop culture phenomenon") the day it opened. Yeah. I know. But at least I'm honest about it. The film is of course based on the first book in the series, and it's surprisingly true to the book, which is both good and bad. It's good because fans won't be disappointed. It's bad because there's a lot of teenage-lit silliness in the book that could have easily been left out of the movie without compromising the story. And there's something about seeing and hearing people delivering lame dialogue that makes the lameness seem even more lame than it is on a page.

TWILIGHT

See it if...
1. You read — and liked — the book.
2. You're a sucker for romance. The reason Twilight is such a huge hit with teenage girls and their moms (I'm neither, so what's my excuse?) is because the relationship between Bella the human and Edward the vampire is so perfect. She's cool and down-to-earth, beautiful and clutzy, smart and perceptive (everything women wish men liked) and he's strong and protective, passionate and loving. It's the impossible dream, where love is concerned.
3. You like a little danger in your romance. Edward loves Bella. He also has to stop himself from killing her and drinking her body dry of her blood. Mmm...sexy.
4. You're not necessarily a fan, but you like knowing that you were a part of the next big thing in popular culture.

Don't see it if...
1. You can't stomach sap. This is seriously sappy stuff, people. If you can't take it, don't see it, because we lovers of the film don't want to hear you groan and sigh your way through the entire movie because you can't take another starry-eyed moment.
2. You can't suspend disbelief for long enough to get swept away in the vampire-human romance. To enjoy this movie, you must let yourself be swept away. You must get lost in Edward's golden eyes. You must wish you were Bella. You must come to the conclusion that sleeping on the stone-cold chest of your undead lover is the only way to spend a night. You must succumb to embarassingly silly adolescent behavior. You must.
3. You can't ignore silly special FX, that include a really weird vampire family baseball game. The game was pretty cool in the books, why the kitsch for the movie?

Fans will wonder...
Why the Cullens in the movie are much less beautiful than they are described in the book. The vampire family is supposed to be dazzlingly, breathtakingly, unnaturally beautiful. That's their whole deal. But the only Cullen who actually lives up to his book looks is Edward, played by the beautiful Robert Pattinson. The others were just OK.

What's the deal...
With the Cullens' really bad wardrobe? Why were they dressed like they were going to a rave in 1994? Seriously. Did anyone else see Rosalie's jeans in that first scene in the cafeteria? What the what?!

The scene stealer
Though much of the dialogue and character development was weak, the movie succeeds because its lead protagonists were absolutely captivating. Watch this movie for Bella and Edward. No one else really matters.

Would I see it again?
Yes. But only because I'm obsessed, not because it's a filmic triumph.

Is there anything better out there?
There is and there isn't. If it's vampire love you're after — with a big dose of Pattinson eye candy — then no, there's nothing better. If it's a good movie you're after, then yes. Take your pick.